Right now we are working on putting walls around the other woman and opening the windows back up to our marriage. We both admit there were several things that have happened in our marriage that allowed both of us to feel we were not getting the emotional things needed from each other. I called the base and received a number to call and talk to a therapist who suggested that we read the book Not "Just Friends" Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity after Infidelity. Turns out most of what we have read so far is things that we had already agreed upon since the discovery of the affair.
Don has agreed to the first step in the recovery process which is to stop all contact with the said person. If he feels he must contact her, and according to the book sometimes it must be done, I am to be allowed full access to everything written or said. Basically meaning he must show me all forms of written contact or he must be on speaker phone if he chooses to call her. Do I fully trust him at this point? No but he realizes I do not and he has been making strides to work on it.
I am using my blog right now as a way to express my feelings without needing to actually talk to someone. I can not deal with yet another phone call to see if I am okay. I get myself feeling better, the crying stops and I start functioning again, only to get another phone call asking me if I am okay. While I appreciate the concern and I have loved talking to people I have not talked to in ages, I need time to work this through on my own. Give me a week and then please if you feel like calling give me a call.
Dance Christmas party
5 hours ago